More and more it feels like I'm using this blog as a place holder, a reminder in my mind for the hobby.
Life is so crammed full of distractions, the hobby from work and vice versa, my fiancée and friends from everything, and the top trump of family, and the million other little things that seem to devour all the time I have. So when I do finally have free time, I'm shattered from all the other stuff, plus it feels like there is never any truly 'free' time any more, its got the hulking shadow of guilt hanging over it, with the whispers of the work projects that need doing, or the event that being shunned in preference for 'free' time.
What's left is the never satisfied hunger for everything hobby related. A massive factor will be the fact that I don't have and friends in the hobby, purely down to the fact I haven't had the time to join clubs of take any time out to go the FLGS. The internet and blogosphere make it easy to remain thoroughly entrenched in the hobby with the daily guilty pleasure of scrolling through the hundreds of subscribed threads I have, or jotting little notes of the passing threads of projects and stories from the imagination banks.
I dream of the time and energy to be able to spend an entire weekend working on the myriad of projects I have nestled in my imagination. Evenings that are completely given over to projects or games, or stories. Weekends with friends enjoying a couple of games.
The reality kicks down the door with the obvious facts of a final year university course, the impending job after it, the balancing act of a flat of 4 guys(in no way wargamers, or even gamers at all) and a fiancée(she isn't so bad) a bunch of friends i barely get to see, and the the friends from home that I haven't seen in year, and the icing on the cake family(they aren't so bad).
Its just life, and they have to be prioritised over little plastic models. Ranting does help from time to time, gets the stress out the system, clear and focuses the mind. I'm going to get into some BFG ships for a change, and get prepared for the (hopeful) peace I have over the Christmas holidays to focus on the hobby(I can dream).
Next time some meandering on inspiration and the weird places you can find it, Die Hard for example...